I grew up in Mexico City with the most amazing and loving support system: my family.
My family growing up was very traditional, dad worked and mom stayed home with us. But we all know being a mom whether you work or stay at home is CRAZY challenging and busy. So my mom looked for help in nannies, who really became family. It was my normal and I didn’t think twice of it until I became a mother myself.
When I was pregnant, I had so many questions and inner conflicts. I really struggled thinking of how my new schedule would work and kept wondering how I was supposed to have a baby and still work, pursue my passions, be a wife, take care of the house, etc. etc. My business still needed a lot of attention but I knew once my son was born I would have a hard time leaving him.
Building My Support System
I knew my husband and I, both working full-time, could not do everything and be everywhere at once.
My businesses brought me so much joy but my baby will always be my #1 priority. Ideally family would watch over Diego while I was at work, but I was the only one who did not still live in Mexico. I had the realization that if I didn’t find the right person things were going to have to change and my business would have to take a different turn.
One night I was talking to my mom on the phone worried about interviewing strangers to watch my baby, when she reminded me that she had remained in contact with my youngest brother’s nanny, Ana. Although she mainly watched over my youngest brother, I was very familiar with her and always loved her.
In a leap of faith, I contacted her after 15 years of not seeing one another and asked if she would be willing to come to Arizona to help my family. I remember feeling so nervous, after all I was asking her to move from Mexico to Arizona and live with my family to help watch my soon to be born son.
To my surprise, she said YES! Ana has become so much more than a nanny, she was loved, protected and cared for my son as her own. I have had full trust and transparency with her since day one and I couldn’t be luckier.
There has been TOO many times to ever count that I’ve found myself truly wondering what I would ever do without her? Yes she watches over my son when I’m not around but more importantly she brings my family security, trust, relief, time, and so much joy. As a parent, and a working mom, that to me is invaluable.
Why Having a Support System as a mom so important
“Mom Guilt” is real… I had no idea how hard it would be to go back to work or even do my daily errands to take care of myself. As much as being a parent is our #1 job, I truly believe we have to take care of ourself and the other things in our life to fully support our children.
Whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom, at times you will need to rely on a support system to help you. For some of you it’s family who lives by, loving neighbors, the occasional babysitter, the carpool group, gym childcare, or even a local mom group that supports you when you need it most.
We are all Super Moms and it doesn’t make of any less of that when we need to the support of others. One of Majka‘s core values is that when you take care of yourself you allow yourself to take better care of the ones you love. This has been a huge learning curve for me as a new mom and a new working mom especially.
Our Experience Since
Time is the greatest expense.
No matter how much money you have, the most valuable thing is time. Time has an opportunity cost just like everything else. If you spend time doing one thing, you give up time to do another. That’s one of the main reason we budgeted in a nanny for Diego. It brings time where I can focus on my work and time where I can focus on my son, with no confusion between.
We decided on asking Ana to be a part of our family because…
1) I trust her whole heartedly, there is value you can put on this.
2) It allows us to work on our passions and careers while also raising a family
3) we can ensure our parenting philosophy isn’t being challenged or affected
Finding a nanny who your child loves is one thing, but finding one who loves your child and would do anything for them is another. I can only speak to my own experience, but this has been a life changing factor for me especially while going back to work. Knowing I can FaceTime Diego at any time or check in with her throughout the day gave me a lot of security when I felt like the world would come to an end leaving Diego for the first time.
I do want to acknowledge that I know I have been incredibly lucky in my situation. There are some amazing childcare and caretakers out there and I wanted to share my own personal story to bring light to any questions about having a full time nanny. Everyone’s experiences are different so it’s important to listen but at the end of the day take everyone’s thoughts with a grain of salt, because you will know what’s right for your family.
Thank the ones in your life that make your parenting easier, from the occasional babysitter to grandma and grandpa. Parenting is hard, and those that give their time to help you should be thanked endlessly.
Tips For Finding a Trustworthy Support System
- Search Within Friends & Family
I think that is one of the best ways to ease any worries, when you are able to find someone you are familiar with or someone you trust can vouch for them.
Put out the word that you are searching for a nanny, babysitter, or whatever kind of support you need. Be patient and start spreading the word early. People want to help the ones they love and you’d be surprised how things can work out.
2. Ask Other Moms
Almost every city has a local moms Facebook group of some sort. This is a place where moms are often there to give and receive local help and tips.
If your child is in school, asking other moms at school or even the school teacher for recommendations is a great start!
3. Check Online
There are so many great sites with Peas in A Pod, Care.com, Sitter City, etc. that can match you with a nanny or babysitter. They take care of all the background checks and pre-interviewing, here you just have to find one that fits with your family. I think here I would recommend really getting to know the person, meeting them multiple times to test it out and get lots of references from past employers.
Let’s Support Each Other!
Check in with your friends and make sure they are okay. See if they need help, and even if you aren’t able to help them maybe you can recommend someone who can or at least give them that emotional support.
Cheer each other on! Let’s remind one another that they’re are doing a great job, you never know how much they might need to hear that.
I hope this blog post lets you know that we all need some kind of support system and that you CAN be a great mom, business woman, wife, and friend.