Have You Ever Felt “Not Good Enough”?
Not smart enough, pretty enough, capable enough, rich enough, strong enough etc?
At some point, we all experience self-doubt. It’s a part of human nature. No matter how many goals we meet or praise we receive, we will want more. This can be either incredibly damaging to or incredibly empowering, depending on how we react.
On one side, we can let it prevent us from doing the things we want and give in to our fear of failure. We self-sabotage ourselves by literally getting comfortable giving into failure without trying (or trying more than once). By not taking that step however big or small, we deprive ourselves of the benefits and give into a tortuous mental state.
On the other side, when we learn how to conquer that setback of fear and use it as fuel magic happens. We learn how to talk kindly to ourselves and be our biggest cheerleader. The fear and doubt don’t go away but facing your doubt head on sure bring some unexplainable joy.
With Bigger Dreams Comes Bigger Fears
I decided to write about this because as my life has gotten busier, my ambitions and aspirations have gotten bigger but so does my self-doubt!
Can I make this happen?
Am I good enough to turn my businesses into big successes?
Can I be good mom and good business owner?
and I could continue the list but I would bore you (haha). It’s incredible what we can accomplish if we believe in ourselves and horrible the self sabotage we can do to ourselves.
We often give ourselves the short end of the stick and think “oh I could never do that” for x, y, and z reasons but what we should we saying to ourselves is “Why not me? I can do it“.
I’d like to share a personal struggle with you that this year (this month actually), made me question everything…
Cancelling The Bloguettes Workshop
It was an incredible success last year and because of that we decided to do a second year! But well into the planning for year two, we realized that it was not the path we wanted our business to go down.
We LOVE education and our biggest passion is still helping entrepreneurs grow their business. But we are now going about it in two different ways. Though we loved the workshop we did not see ourselves doing that for the rest of our lives. Let me TELL YOU it’s so hard to walk away from a successful and profitable venture to focus on growing new areas of a business.
But we’ve seen first hand what our branding and consulting agency, Wela Creative, and stock photography brand, Stock That Rocks, can do and just how much value it brings to businesses. Although these two areas are new to the Bloguettes brand, we are confident our community will find so much out of their expertise and truly be able to grow themselves.
So How Do We Overcome Self-Doubt?
We know that little voice in our head won’t go away, but we also know we don’t have to become a slave to it. We CAN and WILL prove it wrong and bring ourselves great rewards with conscious practice. As I struggle with my own fears of not feeling good enough these are the things that truly make a difference.
Fake It Until You Make It
Even on those days when you feel stuck and don’t feel like doing anything ACT! Doing something is better than doing nothing, even if you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing. In life we have to wear many hats and sometimes we can’t wait for someone to help us or wait until we feel confident enough and it just about never hurts to try.
Just acting towards what you want will give you the confidence you need even if you don’t get the exact result you want. No matter the size of the success, trying something you don’t know if you could do is better than telling yourself you can’t.
Stop Being Your Own Worst Critic
No one criticizes ourselves like we do. It’s dangerous! Pat yourself on the back and be proud of what you do. Something a lot of us do and don’t even realize is minimizing our success.
How many times has someone told you you did good at something and you respond with a “Oh it was not that hard…” or “Oh its not that great…“. I do that all the time! why not just say THANK YOU! You work hard and you deserve to feel good about your hard work.
Discover Your Strengths
Spend sometime on your own to discover what you are good at. The more you understand yourself, the better you can feel about yourself and can spend time doing the things you’re great at. Spending time on your weaknesses can be such a waste of time. Forget what you’re not good at, that’s not what you’re meant to do. DO what you are good at and what you love to do, it will bring you so much more success and happiness.
It can be hard to pinpoint our strengths so pay attention at your tasks throughout your day and what you find joy doing. An easy way to find out your strengths is to ask your friends, family, co-workers and be open to what they have to say. Sometimes it takes someone looking from the outside to see what makes YOU different and what they cherish about you.
Work To Please Yourself, Not Others
Remember, YOU are the only one that has to live with the consequences of your actions. Do things for YOU. If you are proud of something and other’s don’t feel the same, don’t measure the quality of your success on their opinion. You can’t be everyone’s cup of (matcha) tea haha so stay in your lane, put your blinders on, and do things to make YOURSELF feel proud and the praise of others will come.
Create A Supportive Environment
This is where looking at others (especially through social media) plays a huge factor. It can easily become self-sabotage or powerful inspiration. We always hear of these incredibly successful people feeling dangerously inadequate and think how?! Because we all compare ourselves. I challenge you to be cognizant of when someone in your life or that you follow on social media is becoming supportive or destructive to how you feel about yourself.
If someone is feeding your self doubt, and very often to no fault of their own, it’s CRUCIAL to unfollow or do whatever you need to do to instead create an environment of people that inspire you. Focus on what you can do to rid the possible self-sabotage harm you could do. Social media isn’t going away, so we better learn how to use it in a healthy way!
On that note as well, we should all strive to be the kind of people that make others feel good about themselves!
Self-doubt can be a slippery slope.
Whether it starts from something as small as deflecting a compliment to beating ourselves up in our head with “what if” questions. BE AWARE.
Watch the way your speak to yourself, interact with others, and act. When you feel anxious take a few deep breaths and tell yourself “I am good enough”, SMILE and go on with your day with a strong heart. Do the things that bring you joy and find the joy in facing your fears.