Motherhood. While many women experience it, everyone’s journey is unique. Despite the differences, I think we can all agree that motherhood is one of the hardest, yet most rewarding and fulfilling jobs. In my experience, motherhood is a part of me, not all I am. I wanted to write this post to reflect on my view of motherhood and how it can be truly unique and that’s okay.
Motherhood Isn’t The Same For Everyone
Let’s face the facts; motherhood is different for every mom. In all reality, there is no perfect way to be a mother. So instead of bringing other moms down because they parent differently than us, we should be supportive and accepting, not judgmental. When I became a mom, I realized how hard us moms are on other moms, which is completely counterproductive. Here’s one of my favorite books on empowering other women, instead of tearing them down. There’s no right way, there’s only the way that works just right for you and your kids!
Motherhood is Empowering
A lot of women can sometimes view motherhood as debilitating as opposed to empowering. I have personally met so many moms that have left their dreams because they felt guilty about not being moms full time. I definitely struggled with these thoughts as well, but I ultimately realized that motherhood is about quality, not quantity.
Since I decided to go back to work, I do make a point to have no distractions when I spend time with Diego. This helps me to be present and in the moment with him and lets him know that he has my undivided attention. If you struggle with these feelings as well, I would definitely check out this previous post where I talked about resisting expectations and finding your passion. Whether a mom chooses to go to work or chooses to stay at home with her kids, it’s her decision and she should be able to do whatever makes her happy. A happy mom is a better mom!
Leading By Example
Motherhood, for me, is all about leading by example. I lead through my actions instead of my words. Since having Diego, I have been mindful of my actions, so that if he were to imitate them, I would be proud.
I disregard the “Do as I say, not as I do” mentality because I feel as though Diego will learn best from my actions and behaviors, rather than from what I say. I also wrote a post awhile back about how to practice mindfulness which has really helped me with shifting mindset into a more positive one. Some things I try to keep in mind while leading by example is;
- Showing respect to spouse
- Giving Diego my full attention
- Talking positively about myself in front of him
- Responding thoughtfully to criticism, failure or conflict
No One is Perfect
It’s pretty much impossible to be perfect. While some moms may seem like they have the perfect child, perfect family and perfect life, there are always struggles going on behind closed doors. Everyone has struggles and that’s why we need to not be so hard on ourselves as mothers.
Doing all that you can do to the best of your ability for your own child is what’s best. You shouldn’t compare your motherhood journey to anyone else’s because they are all different in their own beautiful ways. There is NO perfect mother. If there were perfect mothers, then we would never try to be better.
With this all being said, I know none of this can happen overnight. It took me awhile to come to terms with a lot of these factors. If you’re reading this as an overwhelmed mama with feelings of self-doubt, you’re doing amazing despite what you are feeling! Your baby doesn’t want a perfect mom, they want a happy and healthy mom. Remember that you are beautiful, strong, resilient and you will get through whatever motherhood struggles you’re facing. We’re in this together!